Falling Apart June 24, 2011
It
seems that it’s my time to collect on some payments for such a good and
wonderful life by way of blocked doors, “no’s”, challenges that I
thought were behind me, getting stuck, and minor disappointments. And it
makes me aware as I face a deluge of dukkha, how easy it is to go to
the place of feeling that I deserve so little so that’s what I should
get, and my, that worsens the situation, my mental resilience, and my
confidence in general.
It also opens my heart to compassion for others with problems and gets me the tiniest bit in touch with oppression. I have truly been largely shielded from such forces and have not made a lot of effort to really deeply feel that. So, now some payback time allows me a small glimpse of the energy-sucking miasma that it might bring.
As I always say “it’s not what life brings you that counts, but how you handle it”. Well, now it’s my time to swallow my own trite comments and see how I step up. Not doing so very well, so far.
As I read this blog I see the privilege and good fortune I have had to have had so much time to reflect and pursue my own interests in my own time and way. Even the recent setbacks are minor in the big scheme and yet I am being significantly battered by them. I truly hope that I will be up to the task of learning while dealing with it.
It also opens my heart to compassion for others with problems and gets me the tiniest bit in touch with oppression. I have truly been largely shielded from such forces and have not made a lot of effort to really deeply feel that. So, now some payback time allows me a small glimpse of the energy-sucking miasma that it might bring.
As I always say “it’s not what life brings you that counts, but how you handle it”. Well, now it’s my time to swallow my own trite comments and see how I step up. Not doing so very well, so far.
As I read this blog I see the privilege and good fortune I have had to have had so much time to reflect and pursue my own interests in my own time and way. Even the recent setbacks are minor in the big scheme and yet I am being significantly battered by them. I truly hope that I will be up to the task of learning while dealing with it.
Comments
Rebecca