Sublime and Ridiculous - August 27, 2017

This is hard, much harder than I allowed myself to believe, and I hope some goodness comes of it. First the Sublime. Poking around Berlin yesterday I was looking for sublime in the form of music by JS Bach and was not disappointed. Starting with the street busking violinist who played the complete partitas while I sat and ate my lunch, then a church organ concert. That should have been enough to satisfy a mere mortal, right?

But no, I wanted to dance. There are a huge amount of dance opportunities and milonga venues here so I should be in heaven ... and I would if I were getting asked. Three strikes against me - stranger here, too many followers, older, and I won't even venture into the territory of looks. And the really sad part of this is that there is very little of the formula that I can change.

So I plunged into a dark forest of anger and bitterness last night for myself, for tango, for old fart leads who will only ask young beautiful women regardless of how they dance, for the unfairness of life, for patriarchy, for oppression...  This morning it feels a little dramatic but I did consider returning home early. I'll see how much abuse I can take. Last night was a zero ask night, where the others were not so bad. That is a new and horrific experience. I left after an hour consoling myself with a glass of cheap red wine.

I will try again and hope I don't wear the bitterness on my visage.