Contradictions

Friends

I am steeped in living the contradictions of benefiting from my white privilege of a life that supports having the time and resources to spend knitting silly monster toys while contemplating the painful subject of Whiteness. Painful because of the subject matter itself and painful because of the isolation I am feeling in the doing of it. Pathetic really, yet here I sit.

I see unending evidence that all I need to do is be nice and civilized, just go along and get along with the mainstream program and all will be well ... for me. Except I just can't. This is not noble in any way, it is simply a screaming conscience that won't permit me to do other than sit, knit, learn, contemplate, and try to reach others who are also exploring that I might find connection. Not FB screaming at one another, simply conversing and sharing, listening and learning.
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