Anatomy of Sad - August 1, 2013
As I settle into the routine of caregiving my beloved husband, incapacitated by pain, I begin to feel the movements of open-hearted sadness and notice that as much as our culture wants to remove, fix, avoid or anything other than experience sadness, it is made visible all around through the lens of my current perspective.
We lay talking about the characteristics of pain, and I realize that sadness has some similarities: endurable in the moment, interesting when objectified, heart-opening when accepted, coming and going in nature, uncontrollable, potentially tenderizing, and amenable to ultimately expand experience or contract possibility.
I started this post yesterday and today felt shredded by exhaustion, the companion to sad that changed the experience to unmitigated unraveling. I see that the first few days were occupied by adjusting and keeping up with demands, and as reality sets in, there is more tendency to argue with what is - a truly losing battle.
So as I adjust and accommodate to new priorities, I'm hoping for a more grounded purchase from which to operate.... I imagine that sleep will help as well.
We lay talking about the characteristics of pain, and I realize that sadness has some similarities: endurable in the moment, interesting when objectified, heart-opening when accepted, coming and going in nature, uncontrollable, potentially tenderizing, and amenable to ultimately expand experience or contract possibility.
I started this post yesterday and today felt shredded by exhaustion, the companion to sad that changed the experience to unmitigated unraveling. I see that the first few days were occupied by adjusting and keeping up with demands, and as reality sets in, there is more tendency to argue with what is - a truly losing battle.
So as I adjust and accommodate to new priorities, I'm hoping for a more grounded purchase from which to operate.... I imagine that sleep will help as well.
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