Master of Distraction - September 18, 2017
I have been clearing the decks for emptiness and what wants to happen, which looks kind of like ecodepression at the moment. I notice how much of my life I've spent in busy distraction that has been useful in avoiding looking into the reality of our predicament. Just the very fact that I'm doing something must make it a priority and therefore VERY IMPORTANT and not prone to distraction by petty existential annoyances. Right?
I have been so successful at this that I have arrived at the age of 63, very uncomfortably contemplating what my childhood self saw, questioned, and knew was a lie and a big problem. But nobody talked about it or worried about it so I'd better not too, and I perpetuated the same lie through the raising of my children, and here we are, pretending that it's all OK enough, at least for our lifetime, isn't it?
I know it is time for grieving, big time, and yet I still keep distracting myself - today with applesauce making which was premature. Apples picked too soon and not sweet enough so I need to wait a few days. I wonder what I will do in the meantime?
This satellite photo does not reveal that my home country of Canada, dark as it is, has now become the most CO2 per capita polluting country in the world because of the Tar Sands extraction. So painful.
I have been so successful at this that I have arrived at the age of 63, very uncomfortably contemplating what my childhood self saw, questioned, and knew was a lie and a big problem. But nobody talked about it or worried about it so I'd better not too, and I perpetuated the same lie through the raising of my children, and here we are, pretending that it's all OK enough, at least for our lifetime, isn't it?
I know it is time for grieving, big time, and yet I still keep distracting myself - today with applesauce making which was premature. Apples picked too soon and not sweet enough so I need to wait a few days. I wonder what I will do in the meantime?
This satellite photo does not reveal that my home country of Canada, dark as it is, has now become the most CO2 per capita polluting country in the world because of the Tar Sands extraction. So painful.
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